Where You Lead Me I Will Go…

So I know some of you heard about an internship opportunity that I applied for in California with my old high school pastor that is now a college pastor there. The moment I talked to him about this opportunity I got so excited. It would be a summer full of building deep relationships, a mission trip to Utah to minister to Mormons, multiple leadership opportunities and of course the beautiful setting of California. The moment I heard about this, I felt God’s call to apply. But that would mean leaving everything that I have ever known in Indiana: my family, my friends and my boyfriend of almost three years. I knew it was a big decision but I had to follow God’s call. After talking to Jordan (my boyfriend) and my parents they both agree I had to answer God’s call. So I applied in January and was told that I would hear back by the end of March. The waiting process began…

So it is April 11 and you asking me what I am doing this summer… and three days ago I would have still told you that I didn’t know but God intervened in the most incredible way that I just want to share it with all of you!

Tuesday: I kind of felt like the door to Cali was closing but I hadn’t received a defiantly answer. If you know me, I am the type of person who needs a HUGE sign with obnoxious flashing neon lights and red pointing arrows before I even take a little action let alone a big one. So Tuesday nights I got online looking for different internship options either in Indy or some place around there. After spending over an hour staring at my computer screen, I felt completely defeated. Nothing I found really stood out to me or sounded like something I wanted to spend my summer investing into. I went to sleep that night frustrated and discouraged.

Wednesday: I expressed my frustrations with God, I told him how I  felt like I had patience but in these last three months of waiting I didn’t know if I had any anymore. I was filled with fear of what I wanted out of the summer, fear of going back to the mundane of life and missing out on my last summer before graduation. Before I have to grow up and get a real job. I wanted so badly to do what God had called me to but I didn’t understand why He wasn’t answering me when I had prayed faithfully to Him through this unknown time. After class I spent time back at the house just talking with two of my housemates about my frustrations and my desires. They both just spoke so much truth into me. They encouraged and gave me the tough love that I needed to hear. They called out the lie that I always fall into believing that I need to prove myself. I have felt that pressure my whole life to prove myself whether to others, my parents and especially myself. I have always held myself to an unrealistic standard but the truth is that God has called me. He has a plan for me this summer and I need to trust that He knows what He is doing. After this we headed to dinner to get some food before night class. This past week at IWU church planters came from all around to meet with students about getting involved. I would have never noticed any of them without my housemate Margie noticing that one of them was from my hometown. Waterline Church was there and on the dry erase board behind them it said “Live in Indy, Come talk to us” and below it was different internship opportunities. We went over to meet the lead pastor and his wife and they are such an amazing couple. They were so outgoing, encouraging and you could tell they really love what they do. They actually both graduated from IWU and we got to swap stories about life and some teachers here. I talked to them about internships and told them about how I actually live in Noblesville. The lead pastor told me that I can basically create an internship designed around what I want to learn and what I want to get out of this. This totally blew me away! He was willing to work with whatever time I would like to spend at the church. That means I could still keep my normal summer job and get ministry experience also. As he told me this, I told him about the conversation I just had with my housemates just an hour earlier. He told me how encouraging it was to hear that. He told me how he didn’t want to come to this thing but his wife made him haha. But on the way to campus that morning he prayed that God would bring him someone that would be interested in this growing church in the small town of Noblesville and he knew from this conversation that the person he prayed for was me! HOW COOL IS THAT!!

I feel humbled and blessed that I get to play a small part in watching God work and grow in this church. I have always felt like God has had big plans for me but with all my passions: mentoring, discipleship, family ministry, healthy leadership and young women.  I don’t exactly know how they all fit together but God does! I am excited to see how these passions play out this summer and in my future. He provided the perfect opportunity for me, He opened a door! But the story doesn’t stop there…

Two Hours Later: After my practicum I checked my phone and saw that my old pastor from Cali called me and left me a voicemail. My first thought was “ wow all in the same day, Lord?” My two housemates that I talked with earlier were there and I ran up to them and told them that I got the call. They were freaked out and excited for me. I asked them to pray over me, that God’s plan would be clear. I asked for Him to close the door to Cali if He wanted me to be in Noblesville or If Cali was a yes then I would follow His call to go there. I called him back and it turns out Cali was a no but my heart wasn’t disappointed at all. I told him about the opportunity that God gave me just a couple hours earlier and told him how excited I am for his summer and his ministry there.

In a matter of three hours God opened a door and shut another one. After three months, I knew what He wanted me to do! The joy that I felt that night was unreal. The fact that God knows my heart and He cares enough to give me something else before He shuts another door because He knew it could have hurt me is amazing. It’s always funny how we get so amazed when God does something we don’t see coming but He is the God, the creator of the Universe why wouldn’t He do something like this?  He loves us unconditionally and shows up in amazing ways. He desires to use His people even though we feel totally inadequate to be His vessel. Margie on the way home said something that I will never forget. She told me that sometimes we have those Abraham moments where God calls us to sacrifice our only son. For me it was being able to leave everything I have ever known, put a strain on my relationship and jump into a community as an outsider. Sometimes God just wants to know that we would do it. That we would be obedient in following His plan and will do what it takes to further His Kingdom. Then He throws a curve ball and says “just kidding, I have something else for you.” But the more I think about it the more I realize that this internship is perfect for me and is way more on the lines of what I want to do as my career. God had a plan all along and I can’t even tell you how much I grew through the waiting time not just with my relationship with the Lord but also in my dating relationship. I am so excited about this summer and what God has for the next chapter of my life. Let this be a testimony of God’s faithfulness and how He will honor your obedience to His will over your own.