Heartbeats...

Today, I attended a one-day women’s conference, called Alive. The theme was to become Alive in Jesus, and to know that each of us is called to use our gifts, to reach people for Jesus! Throughout the whole day I was praying that the Lord would speak to me. During the last session, after lunch, the band played the song “It is Well”, by Bethel Music, and it was beautiful! The verse, “And the mountain that’s in front of me, will be thrown into the midst of the sea”, spoke something to me. As I sang the words, I heard the Lord revealing to me how much fear controls my life.  I have always struggled with the fear of failure. I HATE disappointing people, and feeling like I didn’t do the right thing. But the Lord revealed to me, that with my calling to ministry, sometimes I don’t do everything that I can, because I am afraid to fall and fail. Sometimes I know that I should do something, but I get scared, and that’s when the doubt comes in.

 I often have heard, “What if you fail?”, “You are too young to do that”, and “No one is going to respond to that.” I let my fear stop me from doing everything the Lord has called me to do.

From a very young age, I have known that I want to use my life to serve the Lord, but I wasn’t sure what that looked like.  I had so many different passions, so many different heartbeats. I had no idea how he was going to make them all beat as one!

           

I have always been drawn to broken families, and the children who have been hurt by them. I am also very passionate about writing, and the Lord speaks to me so much through it! I also started a ministry at my old church, when I was interning about 4 years ago, which paired junior high girls with high school and college age girls. We met four times a year to talk about important topics, and just to have fun together. I felt lead to this, because I am passionate that young girls realize their self-worth, and I want them to never allow a stupid boy take it away from them. We talked about beauty, and how God really sees it, because our world has skewed it so much.  The ministry was rooted in mentoring, because a mentor can always come into your life, and change it for the better! They will be your biggest cheerleader, the person you can call on when you don’t know who else to turn to, and someone who will tell you the truth, even though you don’t want to hear it.  I am also passionate about good leadership, and good fellowship. I knew that Lord had given me the gift of leadership, but it overwhelmed me. In high school, I was always the one who had to plan times for our whole friend group to hang out, go to the movies, or even plans before a school dance. They all joked if Claire didn’t plan it, it wouldn’t happen. I love planning and organizing, and somehow, my leadership played a role in that.

My heart beats for broken people, who need hope. I have never been one of those girls, who got all “preachy” with their friends, and tried to convert all of them. I believed in the power of loving people where they are at, and showing them Jesus through your actions. I was the girl that people called, when they needed to hear the truth, and needed someone to vent to. My dad always called it the “dear Claire” time, because I would spend hours talking to my friends, through whatever tragedy they were facing, and praying with them through the whole thing. Now that I just wrote that out, I realized that it was kind of like I was pastoring them… which is CRAZY!  I knew that I was passionate about education and curriculum, but had no desire to really be a teacher. My whole time through college, I knew that God has called me to serve Him for the rest of my life, but I had no idea what that looked like. I had so many heartbeats in different places, how was there anyway that the Lord would put all those heartbeats in one place?!?  But, I am in no way surprised that He did!

I am now the Family Ministry Coordinator at Waterline Church, which is a church plant, that is coming up on five years old. I am responsible for making sure every leader feels empowered, and every child that enters our family ministry rooms, feels loved. Every Sunday, I get to help a team of people make a church out of nothing, and then 8 hours later tear it all down, and make it look like a sports complex again. Somehow, at 23 years of age, I get to help parents spiritually develop their children at home, and know the importance of the hours that they get with them, vs. the time that their teachers get with them on Sunday mornings. The passion I have for families burns more than ever, because I know these families. I know their stories, their kids, and their desires to make sure their children know how much Jesus loves them! Every week I get to lead a team of amazing volunteers, which go above and beyond, to make sure every parent, child, and family, feels loved and safe, as they enter our doors. These people are older than me, but somehow the Lord has called me to them! As I write these out, I am so humbled, and blown away, that the Creator of the Universe chooses to use ME, to further His Kingdom. But the coolest thing, is that I get to lead other people to do just that! That call to lead is scary, overwhelming, and oh so exciting! I have moments when I let fear paralyze that call, but I know that the Lord is on my side, and I have NOTHING to be afraid of! WITH HIM I CAN NEVER FAIL, AND NEITHER CAN YOU!! So what is holding you back from following the call that God has put on your heart?

• ·      Do you need to forgive someone that has hurt you?
• ·      Is He calling you to leave behind your old life, and follow Him completely?
• ·      Are you like me, and let something, or someone, paralyze you from reaching the full potential, that the Lord wants for you?

I don’t know what it is for you, but just know, I am a 23 year old, newly married women, who doesn’t even have kids yet, but I am in a position where I get to help family, parents, and children grow in their relationship with Jesus! My heartbeat for education is beating, when I get to put the curriculum together, using Orange (which if you aren’t using Orange Curriculum, you are missing out on some AMAZING stuff for your families: http://whatisorange.org). My heartbeat for broken families is beating, every time I meet a new family, and get to hear their stories. Sometimes they aren’t as put together, and perfect, as they first appear, when I first greet them. My heartbeat for young girls and mentoring, is not exactly clear yet, but I am excited to get more young people serving in family ministry.  I hope to have the opportunity to develop relationships with them, and more importantly, that they develop strong relationships with other adults around them. My heartbeat for organization and planning, is obviously beating, because I need A LOT of that to do my job accurately. Haha. J My heartbeat for mentoring beats, because Danielle Freed has been the biggest mentor to me, during this transition. She is my biggest cheerleader, always encouraging me in the little things, that mean the most! She has taught me so much about what it looks like to be a woman in leadership, and inspires me more than she knows! My heartbeat for loving people where they are at, beats from being a part of, and being a leader at, a church plant. I love Waterline’s vision for loving God and loving others! Loving others where they are at, and going to them, instead of expecting them to come to us! My heart is beating all together, for the first time ever, and I have no doubt that this is what, and where, God has called me. But that doesn’t mean that the fear doesn’t take over sometimes. Through all of the chaos of life and ministry, it is HARD, but the truth is: God is stronger!! So this mountain of fear that is in front of me, MY God is going to throw it into the sea! He is going to move it for me, because I don’t have to do any of this alone, and I CAN’T! I need Him, and He has a plan for me. This plan, which I may only get to see a piece of. Right now, I see this glimpse, where He has put ALL my desires in one place, and that is one amazing plan, that only HE, the Creator of this Earth, could put together!  

The Best View Comes from the Hardest Climb

I haven’t written a blog in awhile but today the Lord has just been speaking to me and I got to write it out!

I have always been really bad at resting. My mother and my mentors always tell me to slow down and take some time to relax! The truth is that rest looks different for everyone. Some people get rest through a lazy day spent on the couch cuddled up with a good book or your favorite Nexflix’s series. While others rest with spending quality time with good friends or spending time alone doing something that they love. For me it is running, which to others might sound like the opposite of rest but running recharges me. While being in the ministry, I have learned that the greatest thing is that you take care of your own relationship with God. It is important to find what connects you to God and make it a regular thing!  Of course scripture and journal is part of my regular routine but running outside in His creation is when I feel the closest to him. I know that I am not a runner. I was never athletic in high school, I have asthma and anyone who knows me knows that my balance isn’t great. But with Jesus he can erase all of that and I can run my heart out.

I am now the full time Family Ministry Coordinator at Waterline Church, a church plant of almost five years. I have heard about church planting but nothing can prepare you for what it really is. Every Sunday feels like a marathon event from 7am till 2pm. You have to think on your feet, make the call that is best for every family and do everything with a huge smile on your face. I love what I get to do! Every Sunday I get to meet people who don’t know Christ and I get to see them experience God’s love! I get to hear the stories of amazing volunteers who are souled out to the vision of being a ministry to the whole family that develops and empowers children and parents together to experience the life changing movement of Jesus! I know that I am called to be at Waterline, all the time God affirms that but in the hard times it is hard to not doubt.

Some Sundays are harder than others and this past Sunday was a hard one that ended with a nap! I felt like this afternoon I needed some of that rest so I laced up my running shoes and hit the pavement with Needtobreathe in my ears. I spent the whole time praying and voicing everything in my heart to the Lord. I knew that he was listening to it all and encouraging my heart that even when times are hard that he will be right by me through it all! Every step I took, the doubts faded away and my heart was filled with joy! I encourage you to find your own way to rest and your own way to connect with God. Find something that you can only do with God’s help and run after it! There is no better feeling than after a run when I know I gave it my all! I know nothing is going to be better than seeing the beautiful view at the top of what God continues to do through Waterline Church! The best views come from the hardest climb and I will run this race that God has called me to!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Hebrew 12:1

To find out more about Waterline Church visit www.waterlinechurch.com

What working for a small business && church planting have in common...

 

I have worked at Blu Moon Café for over six years and have learned so much about the culinary arts and the amazing healthy food choices that are out there. This summer I have the amazing opportunity to be a family ministry intern for Waterline church that is a church plant that has been going strong for four years. Last week when I was washing dishes at the café the Lord showed me how much working in a small business has prepared me for working a church plant and a church in general. So I decided to make a list below:

1.    The owners or the pastors work harder than anyone else. I have never seen two people give so much time, energy and passion than pastors at Waterline and my bosses at Blu Moon.

2.  Sometimes you have to suck it up and do the things that you really don’t enjoy. For example, spending hours washing a mountain of dishes or scrubbing the floors after a long day of catering. Or at church you might have to scrub some toilets or change some really dirty diapers. But with every act there is a greater impact than you can even see.

3.  The experience really matters. The atmosphere, love and service people receive is very important

4.  You do a lot of work to set things up just to close it down twelve hours later. Blu moon we come in at 6am make all the food, set up the whole sandwich and make everything fresh just to close everything down by 6pm.Waterline we get there at 8:30am and unload all the stuff out of the closet just to pack everything up by 8:30 pm that same day. It is a lot of work to make one day run so smoothly but we need all that time and energy to make the day successful

5.  It is all about working together. In a kitchen everyone works as a team, same with a church staff and volunteers everyone has to catch the vision and work together to accomplish it. This doesn’t mean that everyone works the same, it means that everyone works through their differences to accomplish the same goal.

6.  There is always something new to be learned everyday which is one reason why I love both of these possessions. Every day I come into the church office or spend a Sunday doing ministry all day and I learn something new about leadership or loving people. Also, every day I show up to work in the kitchen I learn something either about a food that I have never heard about or a new culinary technique that will make my life easier. In both environments it is good to be a sponge and take in wisdom whenever you get it. 

It is just amazing how I have realized how much God has prepared me for what I am doing this summer and for interning in a church plant. Just one reason why I have no doubt that this is where He wants me (: 

Rest for my Soul

Rest for my Soul…

Well this is my first week of summer and I know that God is telling me to rest. I have two weeks before my crazy summer beginning where I will be working and doing an internship. I know I should be enjoying these two weeks off but I realize that being still is the hardest thing for me.  People say that their comfort zone is having time off and no schedule but for me my comfort zone is when I am super busy, immersed in a good ministry and pouring into every person I meet.At school I was surrounded by people and overwhelmed with so much school work that slowing down wasn't really an option. Now I don’t really know how to do that, I have a whole stack of summer reading that I want to get through and of course unpacking but being in an empty house makes me feel lonely and makes me think too much. I know that God has given me this time to spend with Him and renewing my Spirit for what is ahead but how do you did that??

This morning it was pretty enough to go for a run. I laced up my shoes and hit the pavement with NEEDTOBREATHE’S new album playing in my ears (which is incredible by the way, go download it right now!). There is something about running that teaches me what it means to be completely dependent on God because I know I wouldn't be a runner without Him. My run this morning lead me to the canoe landing by the river and I took my headphones out and listened to the birds and the running water. I looked at the river running its course and thought about how I wish I knew what the course was for me but I know God knows the plans for my life. I felt God speak so loudly for me to Be Still and enjoy just being in His presence. I know that in these next two weeks off that I just need Him to renew my Spirit and prepare me for what is ahead. I don’t know what that looks like but I know that starts with me figuring out how to quiet my Spirit and Be Still.

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.” - Psalms 62:5

End of the Year Blues && Reflection..

As this year at IWU comes to an end my heart is sad because I know this week will end in a lot of goodbyes and tears. Those goodbyes will turn into “see you later” because the friendship I have made here have impacted my life so much and I know we will keep in touch!

So Many Great Memories 

IWU 2013-2014 <3

So below is a list of the all things I learned in this short year here at IWU!

1.  Be present where you are planted

2. Always be willing to serve no matter if you receive anything in return

3. Love with your whole heart

4. Sacrifice sleep for the friends who just need someone to talk to and cherish those late night chats

5. Sticking 6 different girls in a townhouse is a crazy awesome sometimes difficult experience

6. Living with people means adjusting to their habits and yours. Also leads to learning how to compromise

7. Children’s ministry is not my calling

8. Theology is necessary for you to truly understand who God is and the grace He has for you

9. I have the best professors here at IWU who truly care about their students and pray for them

10. God is faithful through the storm and the waiting

11. I have the two best mentors on the planet and I don’t know what I would do without them!

12. Time management is essential to balancing a relationship, friendships, work and schoolwork in college/life

13. Distance makes you grow in a way that being together all the time doesn’t

14. God answers prayer!

15. Chipotle is SOO GOOD! Thanks Brandi for making me experiences it for the first time a couple weekends ago!

16. God is moving in areas I didn’t even know about such as churches in prison.

17. The two greatest commandments in the Old Testament are still the greatest day! Love God and love your neighbor the two biggest keys to being more like Christ

18. Basic Christian Doctrine is by far my favorite class but I left more confused and having more questions than I did when I started.

19. Having my sister live three and half hours away still sucks

20. God sometimes gives you Abraham moments where He calls you sacrifice everything in obedience to Him but in the end leads you down a completely different path.

21. I am blessed with the two greatest Godliest parents who I am so thankful for

22. I really love my Christian Education Major but I don’t know what God has called me to do with it yet and I have peace about that

23. Healing comes in the strangest ways

24. Friends are people that you cannot talk to for months but pick back up right where you left off and it is a beautiful thing

25. My roommate has been the biggest blessing to me and I don’t know what I’d do without her!

26. God gave you gifts so claim them and foster them!

27. There will never be this time in my life again when I am surrounded by people who love Jesus and get to spend time investing into one another

28. Community is so important but sometimes so difficult to be vulnerable with other people and allow them to see the best and worse sides of you

29. God gave me the best housemates who became like sisters to me

30. Life goes too fast but we get so focused on the future that we wish away the most unique moments that we have right now

This year has been incredible and looking back at all my old pictures just makes me want to cry. God placed me in the perfect situation here and each person I have met has played a specific role in pouring into my life and joining me on this journey. I am not ready for the goodbyes I have to give this week but I know that no matter what happens some of these friendships will really last a lifetime. And the most comforting thing is that we all are sisters/brothers in Christ and we get to spend eternity together, WHICH IS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!

Most of my close friends are staying in Indy next year so I am excited to still get to see them and see where God takes them on this next journey. Only one more semester at IWU for me then I am out in the real world. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me in my last semester here at IWU and the amazing people I have yet to meet. 

Where You Lead Me I Will Go…

So I know some of you heard about an internship opportunity that I applied for in California with my old high school pastor that is now a college pastor there. The moment I talked to him about this opportunity I got so excited. It would be a summer full of building deep relationships, a mission trip to Utah to minister to Mormons, multiple leadership opportunities and of course the beautiful setting of California. The moment I heard about this, I felt God’s call to apply. But that would mean leaving everything that I have ever known in Indiana: my family, my friends and my boyfriend of almost three years. I knew it was a big decision but I had to follow God’s call. After talking to Jordan (my boyfriend) and my parents they both agree I had to answer God’s call. So I applied in January and was told that I would hear back by the end of March. The waiting process began…

So it is April 11 and you asking me what I am doing this summer… and three days ago I would have still told you that I didn’t know but God intervened in the most incredible way that I just want to share it with all of you!

Tuesday: I kind of felt like the door to Cali was closing but I hadn’t received a defiantly answer. If you know me, I am the type of person who needs a HUGE sign with obnoxious flashing neon lights and red pointing arrows before I even take a little action let alone a big one. So Tuesday nights I got online looking for different internship options either in Indy or some place around there. After spending over an hour staring at my computer screen, I felt completely defeated. Nothing I found really stood out to me or sounded like something I wanted to spend my summer investing into. I went to sleep that night frustrated and discouraged.

Wednesday: I expressed my frustrations with God, I told him how I  felt like I had patience but in these last three months of waiting I didn’t know if I had any anymore. I was filled with fear of what I wanted out of the summer, fear of going back to the mundane of life and missing out on my last summer before graduation. Before I have to grow up and get a real job. I wanted so badly to do what God had called me to but I didn’t understand why He wasn’t answering me when I had prayed faithfully to Him through this unknown time. After class I spent time back at the house just talking with two of my housemates about my frustrations and my desires. They both just spoke so much truth into me. They encouraged and gave me the tough love that I needed to hear. They called out the lie that I always fall into believing that I need to prove myself. I have felt that pressure my whole life to prove myself whether to others, my parents and especially myself. I have always held myself to an unrealistic standard but the truth is that God has called me. He has a plan for me this summer and I need to trust that He knows what He is doing. After this we headed to dinner to get some food before night class. This past week at IWU church planters came from all around to meet with students about getting involved. I would have never noticed any of them without my housemate Margie noticing that one of them was from my hometown. Waterline Church was there and on the dry erase board behind them it said “Live in Indy, Come talk to us” and below it was different internship opportunities. We went over to meet the lead pastor and his wife and they are such an amazing couple. They were so outgoing, encouraging and you could tell they really love what they do. They actually both graduated from IWU and we got to swap stories about life and some teachers here. I talked to them about internships and told them about how I actually live in Noblesville. The lead pastor told me that I can basically create an internship designed around what I want to learn and what I want to get out of this. This totally blew me away! He was willing to work with whatever time I would like to spend at the church. That means I could still keep my normal summer job and get ministry experience also. As he told me this, I told him about the conversation I just had with my housemates just an hour earlier. He told me how encouraging it was to hear that. He told me how he didn’t want to come to this thing but his wife made him haha. But on the way to campus that morning he prayed that God would bring him someone that would be interested in this growing church in the small town of Noblesville and he knew from this conversation that the person he prayed for was me! HOW COOL IS THAT!!

I feel humbled and blessed that I get to play a small part in watching God work and grow in this church. I have always felt like God has had big plans for me but with all my passions: mentoring, discipleship, family ministry, healthy leadership and young women.  I don’t exactly know how they all fit together but God does! I am excited to see how these passions play out this summer and in my future. He provided the perfect opportunity for me, He opened a door! But the story doesn’t stop there…

Two Hours Later: After my practicum I checked my phone and saw that my old pastor from Cali called me and left me a voicemail. My first thought was “ wow all in the same day, Lord?” My two housemates that I talked with earlier were there and I ran up to them and told them that I got the call. They were freaked out and excited for me. I asked them to pray over me, that God’s plan would be clear. I asked for Him to close the door to Cali if He wanted me to be in Noblesville or If Cali was a yes then I would follow His call to go there. I called him back and it turns out Cali was a no but my heart wasn’t disappointed at all. I told him about the opportunity that God gave me just a couple hours earlier and told him how excited I am for his summer and his ministry there.

In a matter of three hours God opened a door and shut another one. After three months, I knew what He wanted me to do! The joy that I felt that night was unreal. The fact that God knows my heart and He cares enough to give me something else before He shuts another door because He knew it could have hurt me is amazing. It’s always funny how we get so amazed when God does something we don’t see coming but He is the God, the creator of the Universe why wouldn’t He do something like this?  He loves us unconditionally and shows up in amazing ways. He desires to use His people even though we feel totally inadequate to be His vessel. Margie on the way home said something that I will never forget. She told me that sometimes we have those Abraham moments where God calls us to sacrifice our only son. For me it was being able to leave everything I have ever known, put a strain on my relationship and jump into a community as an outsider. Sometimes God just wants to know that we would do it. That we would be obedient in following His plan and will do what it takes to further His Kingdom. Then He throws a curve ball and says “just kidding, I have something else for you.” But the more I think about it the more I realize that this internship is perfect for me and is way more on the lines of what I want to do as my career. God had a plan all along and I can’t even tell you how much I grew through the waiting time not just with my relationship with the Lord but also in my dating relationship. I am so excited about this summer and what God has for the next chapter of my life. Let this be a testimony of God’s faithfulness and how He will honor your obedience to His will over your own. 

Be Present Where You Are Planted

Be Present Where You Are Planted

I am in this season where everything is going by so fast. I am surrounded by seniors in college who are just focused on the next step whether that means marriage or a starting their career or both. They focus so much on the future that they miss out on the present and neglect the part of the God’s story that He has for them today.  I realize it is so easy to get caught up in this mind set of the future that I miss out on what is passing by right in front of me…

This is a precious time that I have in this season that I will never have again. I live in a community of women who challenge me every day to be the best that I can be. I know that I can go to any one of them whenever I need prayer or just need to rant about a bad day. I know that after college when I get married and go out into the “real world” that my priorities will shift and I will have less time to spend with all the people that I want to spend time with. I will always have my core group of friends but I know that life gets busy and that time flies by. I have realized that these moments right now is when God is shaping me the most. This past year I have had a lot of spiritual growth and great accountability with my housemates. It isn’t always easy having those people who are willing to give you tough love but we all need that in our lives and I am thankful for that. They have affirmed my gifts of wisdom and discernment in my life and allowed me opportunities to use them. We have had late night worship nights in our living room and family dinners around the table and I wouldn’t wish away this time for anything. I don’t want to look back at my college time and realized that I wished it all away and regret any time that I didn’t spend investing myself into this community, into my education and into my relationships.

This past year at IWU has been amazing, and I don’t remember a season where I have grown so much. I have learned to be present in EVERY situation.

BE PRESENT when your housemate is going through a hard spot and just need an ear to listen

BE PRESENT when your boyfriend just wants to tell you about his day

BE PRESENT in chapel even on Mondays when you don’t feel like listening

BE PRESENT when your home and you get precious time with your family

BE PRESENT IN EVERY SITUATION BECAUSE TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED!

I wouldn’t change this season for anything, even though there are moments where it is hard. It is hard doing a long distance relationship when you have been together for three years and it’s hard when some days you feel like you still don’t belong but the good and the growth out way the hard times. I have grown so much in my knowledge of the Lord and in walking daily with him. I have been digging deep into my theological beliefs and what God wants my ministry to look like. I have built some amazing friendships that I know will last forever. I have gotten to invest in kids and underclassmen in a way that they have touched my life way more than they could ever say that I did. I have grown in my knowledge of the world and in my passion for God’s people. I have learned to never take for granted the time that I get when my whole family is together because these days it is pretty rare. I am closer to my boyfriend today on an emotional and communicational level more than when we lived close to each other. I have learned to value the time that we have together and cherish every moment. We have learned how to grow independently but also how to grow together. I know what commitment is when both our schedules are crazy and you have to stay up later doing homework just to have a conversation about how our days went. I have seen couples in this culture operate as if they married and it makes my heart hurt to know that they are missing out on this special community that they have in this time here. I am not perfect and I fall into thinking way too much on the future and not being present where I am. After three years of being together and graduation so close, you just want to think about the next steps and figure out how you are going to make it work to be together but I don’t want to get in that mindset so much that I miss what God has for me today!

But I write this as a personal reminder to me to BE PRESENT in every situation and to not let the culture and the world around me distract me from what God has for me right now. As I approach these last few weeks of school before this year comes to an end I have had multiple conversations with friends about the pressure to be getting married and having it all figured out. But I want you all to know that if you are feeling that way, to take a deep breath and know that everyone is different. God has a specific plan for everyone and it is okay to not have it all figured out and if you walk in His way He will show you the next step to take.

JUST TRUST HIM && BE PRESENT WHEREVER YOU ARE PLANTED