I Want More..

I have realized lately how my life and how I live it impacts the people around me. Lately, I have also met a lot of “Christians.” The people who use “Christian” as a label and not a life style. It’s a relationship not a religion, something I realize is true more and more every day. We are called to love but I look around and I see so much hate. Especially from these so called “Christians.” I’m not perfect and I am guilty of not doing everything in love but God is opening my eyes and showing me how to. I now realized how everything I do reflects who Jesus is. I look around and wonder why Christians and God are so stereotyped and I realize that being a “Christian” is how this happens.  A “Christian” who sits on a church pew every Sunday but doesn’t let the words the pastor says really changes his life or his heart. The “Christians” that raise their hands on Sundays in youth group but then go to school on Monday and make fun of their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. What’s the point if it doesn’t really change you? Something I am I guilty of so many times. I don’t want to be a “Christian”, I want more. We are called to be Jesus on this Earth. We have such a short time here and unlimited chances to show people who Jesus is. But how can they ever see Jesus if our self is standing in the way. It’s time to be real. To really surrender and not conform to this messed up, ungodly world. This world is full of lies and we as followers of Jesus Christ are here to spread the truth. Every day is a choice for who you are going to live for: yourself? Your popularity?  The world? Or are you really going to live for the creator of the universe? The one who knows your whole heart, your greatest fears, your deepest desires and your unhealed wounds and still loves you enough to step off His safe throne above and died so you can live eternally with Him <3

A Sunday Full of God Moments

Sunday was a great day full of God moments. Sunday I went back to spend some time in the junior high first service. When I first got into high school, I used to spend a lot of time helping in the junior high area and then the events were less frequent and I got busy and just stopped going. I noticed when I walked into Jr. High that Sunday, I did not know as many kids as I used too. All the kids I knew in Jr. High have moved up to High School. As I stood in the back of the room that Sunday, I watched all these kids worship and I just looked around observing them. At first when I looked around the room I saw all the clicks. I saw the football jocks, the popular girls and even the “Christian” kids that have been going to church since they were born. After seeing the kids, God really opened my eyes. He showed me that every single one of these kids have a story, every single one of them has been hurt by someone in their life. I remember what Jr. High is all about, it is all about labels and looking “cool.” As I spent one Sunday with these kids, I realize this is where my heart is. God has given me such a love for these kids and I cannot wait to see where He leads me. After first service, my friend Marie, my cousin Kristyn and I teach a five year old class. I love these kids. They are so vocal about their faith and fitting in is never an issue. I can’t imagine not seeing my fives every Sunday but I really feel like God is calling me to Jr. High. I am continuing to pray and I know God will lead me. I know that only one ministry needs my whole heart.  After second service I walked into the sanctuary to find my dad. My aunt came up to me and told me that my ex-boyfriend from sophomore year was getting baptized. I was totally floored. Even though we broke up forever ago, I still had continue to pray for him to know Jesus and really become the guy I knew he could be. It was such an amazing experience to watch him surrender to God and it reminded me that God really does answer prayers and everything works in His time. Sunday was a day full of little moments that God just continued to amaze me. Sunday night was Uprising, a night where different churches in the community came together and worshiped the one true God, as His body, the church. That was a really eye opening experience also. I know that God was smiling down on us that night. Sunday was a day that God really taught me what true surrender is. Surrender is giving up everything, every single part of your life no matter what. I can honest say that every morning I have to wake up and surrender everything to God. Sunday God made me realize how selfish I have been. I have been holding on to parts in my life that I knew God wanted from me. I thought to myself how can I look at God and say “You gave all of you but you can only have a part of me.” God deserves all of me and that is what He is going to get.

Forgiveness is LOVE!

Forgiveness, so easy to tell other people to do but so hard to do yourself.  This world is full of people who will hurt you. Some that will give you a horrible day or even cause the most suffering situation that has happened in your life. And to them, God says forgive.  Forgiveness is something God has taught me a lot about lately. I went through a really tough time about a year ago and someone hurt me so bad, I never thought I would ever be able to forgive. I held on to all that anger and let it get the best of me. I built up walls around my heart. I held onto that anger and thought “I’m following God, so it is okay if I am angry over this.” I was so wrong. I never realized how much this anger defined me. That anger spread to other things and finally God made it clear that I had to forgive this person. I did and it was one of the hardest things ever but after that God’s joy and peace was amazing. I knew this is what God wants. Just another thing God taught me about love. Forgiveness is love and Love is forgiveness. No matter what situation or suffering you went through or are going through, it can be used to glorify God. God uses the troubles you go through, to help give hope to others who are going through the same thing. We were never meant to be alone, that’s why we have Jesus and God gives us people in our lives that understand. When you ask God for forgiveness and repent, God forgets everything. But sometimes we hold on to our past. You need to forgive yourself because God has already forgiven and forgotten your old self. I remember one year at camp Keith Comp was speaking and he said “Think of the person you hate the most and that is how much you love Jesus.” Thinking about this totally floored me. But he is right; God calls us to love like He has loved us. Sometimes as followers of God, we weigh our sin on a scale. We think to ourselves “Well I have only gossiped but that guy, he committed murder so obviously I am better than him.” When the truth is sin is the same in God’s eyes which sometimes seems unfair to me but it amazes me how God looks at all people the same. Jesus looks past all the baggage you’re carrying and say give it to me, it is time to let go. Every human is going to let you down, that’s just human nature. Your family, your best friend and even your amazing boyfriend/husband are all going to fail you. Romans 3:23 says “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Everyone is going to let you down, but put all your hope and trust in the one person who won’t, your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.